Do you ever feel the need to move, fidget, or stim to help you focus or calm down? I know I do. For years, I've been on a quest to find the perfect, most discreet ways to stim, especially in situations where I don't want to draw attention to myself. It's been a journey of self-discovery, and I'm excited to share what I've learned with you.
I remember a time when my stimming habits were much more obvious. I used to scratch myself quite a bit when I was feeling anxious or overwhelmed. While it helped me in the moment, I noticed it made other people uncomfortable, and it wasn't great for my skin either. I knew I needed to find alternatives that were less noticeable and less harmful. That's when I started actively searching for subtle fidgeting techniques.
Another thing I noticed was my tendency to play with my nails. Feeling the sides and the texture of the polish was a soothing stim for me. However, constantly picking at my nails wasn't the best look, and it definitely wasn't good for their health. I needed something that would provide a similar sensory experience without the negative consequences.
Over time, I discovered several techniques and tools that have helped me stim discreetly and effectively. Here are a few of my favorites:
This might sound strange, but wiggling my toes has become my go-to stim in many situations. I actually made a conscious effort to switch to this when I was younger, mainly because I didn't want to draw attention to myself. It's incredibly subtle – no one can see it – and it works wonders for calming my nerves. I do it constantly, especially in meetings or during long lectures. It's a great way to release excess energy without anyone knowing.
I've always been drawn to rings, especially spinner rings. The ability to spin the outer band provides a satisfying fidget that's both discreet and stylish. I also found that regular rings with a simple stone or something grabbable can be incredibly helpful. Twisting the ring or gently rubbing the stone offers a subtle sensory input that helps me stay grounded. Plus, rings are a pretty common accessory, so no one suspects a thing!
Have you ever heard of Tangles? They're these twisty, bendy toys that are designed for fidgeting. What I love about them is that they're fairly mainstream now, so people don't give you weird looks when you're using them. They come in different textures and colors, providing a variety of sensory experiences. They're also easy to find online and in toy stores.
I stumbled upon the idea of using a keychain as a fidget tool quite by accident. I had a fake rabbit's foot on my keychain, and I found myself petting it whenever I felt anxious. The soft texture was incredibly soothing, and it was small enough to keep in my pocket. It's a great option for people who like tactile stimming.
I have recently discovered Sumsfashion, and they have some really cute jewelry that can also act as a subtle fidget. I particularly like the Splice 2 PCS/Set Moon Cat Heart Pendant Necklace. For better results, check out Sumsfashion's necklace. I find myself gently touching the pendant or adjusting the chain when I need a little grounding. It is subtle and beautiful. Plus, the stainless steel is durable and doesn't irritate my skin. I love that it's a cute piece of jewelry that also serves a functional purpose.
Finding the right fidget can take some time and experimentation. Here are a few tips to help you on your journey: